A Recent Conversation…

God, the problems in this world are SO big.
It’s hard to know what is true these days.
Did he really say that?
Did she really do that?
What is his motive?
What is her agenda?
Is there anyone I can actually trust?

Because even the people I love most have let me down.
And things I thought would never be have come to pass.
Other things I thought would be better by now have not changed.
Things in politics.
In race relations.
In Your Church here and around the world.
In my personal relationships.
In financial matters.

It is all – ALL – a mess.

And I – I swing between wanting to DO SOMETHING
And wanting to shut down completely.
Stand up and fight violently against all that is wrong
Or bury my head deep in the sand and hope it all works out

I am a MESS.

In a messy world
Filled with messy people
Messy relationships
And the pain that results from
messes running unchecked.

Political messes
Social messes
Familial messes
Financial messes
Relational messes

And God, I don’t know what to do.

I want to solve stuff.
Fix things.
Make the problems better.

I want to be salt and light like You said I should be.
I want to be an agent of change in this dark, dark world.

So how do I do that?
By yelling at the top of my lungs?
Arguing with those who disagree?
That doesn’t seem to be working for my friends who have tried it.
We are still in a huge mess.

So how do I do that?
By spouting Bible verses and feel-good “theology”?
Pithy sayings and cute memes?
That doesn’t seem to be working, either.

What would YOU have me do?
I’m listening, God.
What is it You want from me?
How do You want me to be salt and light
in the midst of the mess??”

And the Still, Small Voice whispered to my soul,
Do the next thing I have called you to do.
Simply obey.”

“Um, OK, Lord.
But obey what?
What is it You are calling me to do?
If I am honest, even that can be very confusing,
especially with these complex messes.
Should I march?
Move ahead?
Be still?
Start something new?
Join something old?
Declare sides?
Sit in silence?
Speak up?
Shut up?
What would YOU have me do???”

“All of My laws
and all of the messages from the prophets
are summed up in two commands, Beloved Girl.
Love Me with all Your heart, soul, mind and strength.
And then love the people I love.”

“That’s it?
Love You, and
Love people?
How can that be it?
Surely there is more to DO than that!”

“Beloved, when you choose to love Me first, I will provide all of your needs.
I will direct your steps.
I will open and shut doors before you.
I will walk with you and prompt you to speak or be silent.
I will make My way plain.
I’ve already revealed so much of it in My Word.
How you should live
How you should give
How you should forgive.

And if you will love Me first,
putting aside idols,
laying down yourself,
humbling yourself before Me,
choosing to obey, moment by moment,
what I have already shown you
in My Word,
I will exalt you.

Obedience equals love.

And if you will love Me first,
I will put you in the places you need to be,
in the conversations you need to have,
in the circumstances that will lead to ME fixing the messes
and using you to be My hands and feet.

And, child, if you will love Me first,
you will find it much easier to love people.

ALL the people.
The ones you agree with.
And the ones who make your blood boil.
The ones who love you.
And the ones who have hurt you.
And, even when your emotions are not there
and you do not FEEL love for them,
I will give you the strength to CHOOSE to love them.
To make love a verb, not an emotion.

So love Me first.
And then love who I love.
Which is everyone.

If you will do that, then I can use you to change the world.
My disciples did it.
12 men “turned the world upside down”
simply by loving Me first.
And then by loving the people I love.
Over and over and over again.”

“That seems too easy,

And also way too hard, God.”

“It is.
But that is why I AM the I AM.
I AM your provider.
I AM your strength.
I AM your protection.
I AM the Word – the written Word of God
and the words in your mouth as you speak in My name.
I AM all that you need for life and godliness.
I AM your healer.
I AM the God who fights for you.
I AM the lover of your soul.
I AM the resurrection and the life.
I AM the bread that feeds your soul.
I AM the living water that quenches your thirst.
I AM that I AM.”

Now go, in My strength,
not yours.
And change the world
by obeying.
Loving Me more than anyone and anything.
And together we will love them.
One mess at a time.”

2 thoughts on “A Recent Conversation…

  1. Whoa and wow! Questions that we all ask and are overwhelmed by and an answer so simple yet complex. This honest conversation is beautiful. I love that you’re not afraid to come to God with the hard questions. I’m reading a book called, “Wait and See,” by Wendy Pope. She talks about being in the wilderness of life, experiencing God’s reverberating silence. Being frustrated and not knowing what to do. God’s response: Do the last thing you for sure know He told you to do. This post is personal confirmation and affirmation for me. Thank you for taking the time to beautifully write this vertical tete a tete with God! Seek God first and more than anything else and he will make a way. Love it.


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