You can…but you won’t.
Why won’t you, God?
You are able to heal my friend.
But so far, You have not.
You are able to change my financial circumstances.
But You are choosing not to – at least, so far.
What’s up with that?
You are able to heal the marriage.
Keep the baby from miscarrying.
Cure the cancer.
Provide the money.
Send that godly husband to the lonely, godly girl.
I know You are able because You have done it before.
It’s recorded in the pages of Your Word.
Lots of them.
And I know because You have done it in the 2,000 years since Jesus walked the earth.
I have read the testimonies.
Heard them with my own ears.
Seen them with my own eyes.
So where are you now, God?
Because You can.
I know You can.
But You aren’t.
And it feels like You won’t.
And in the midst of the swirling waters, the crashing waves, the skies split with lightning and the roar of thunder, I am broken.
I am small.
I am in pieces.
Shattered on the rocks.
Until I hear within the tumult the still, small Voice that whispers Truth.
As I lean in to hear the whisper, it gets louder.
And as the volume increases, I begin to think that the storm is over.
But then I realize it is not.
It is still raging.
I am still broken.
But the Voice now carries above the wind, in spite of the thunder, over the crashing of the waves.
As I lean in, The Voice of Truth says:
“My Name is I AM.
Not “I was.”
Not “I will be”.
But I AM.
I AM, who created you.
I AM, who knew you before the first cell split in your mother’s womb.
I AM, who has a glorious plan for you. For your life. For each of your days.
I AM, who is completely and utterly good.
I AM, who is the One and Only True God, the Sovereign Lord of the Universe.
I AM the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the One who IS the beginning from the end of all things.
I AM the Creator of the storm and, therefore, the Master of it.
I AM the lover of your soul, who cries with you as you mourn, who collects your tears in a bottle and records them on my scroll.
I AM your Daddy and I will carry you in My arms every day that you will allow it.
I AM the peace that goes beyond what you can comprehend, beyond what you can see, beyond what you can know.
I AM the One who directs your paths.
And though the road feels long, it is actually very short.
The storm feels eternal but is truly very finite.
And the pain is overwhelming but there is purpose in it.
Will you trust Me?
Will you believe the best about Me?
Will you choose Me?
Even when you cannot figure Me out, will you choose faith over sight?
Faith over feeling?
I will not make you choose.
But, I AM here.
I AM waiting for you.
I AM yours.
Will you choose Me?”